It still hurts.

It finally rained Friday. The colors were gorgeous.

It.Still.Fucking.Hurts. I wasn’t enough. I’m not worth knowing. I did irreparable damage over 15 years. She’s embarrassed of me. She’s ashamed to have been married to me. She doesn’t want people to know that I’m the ex. “She’s not my husband.” Some of these I still feel so strongly at times. Others zip in and… Continue reading It still hurts.

I’m doing okay.

Pints and Pools Craft Beer Fest 2021

That doesn’t mean it’s been easy. I’m only two months post divorce (officially). We were pretty well separated when I moved out November 1. Moving on with your own life when someone else was so closely a part of that life for so long – it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been faced with. It’s… Continue reading I’m doing okay.


Rocks along the San Juan River

I’m trying to take care of myself mentally and physically. The mental part has actually come quite easily since coming out. Without the continual mental struggle against dysphoria and feeling like a mistake, I find myself mentally clear and present. I’m just happy. I’m more productive at work. I’m present in more moments with my… Continue reading Ma’am.