Dear T.
T, Be kind to yourself. Yes, you’ve come a long way, but it’s also not very far. You’ve only been you for a few years. You are playing catch-up in a world you weren’t a part of for much of your life. You were busy keeping yourself safe. You were busy keeping yourself alive. Now […]
The trauma of feeling unwanted.
Trauma.Emotional trauma.I lived almost half a lifetime feeling unwanted. Those feelings came rushing back with a vengeance on Monday. Quite unexpectedly, I might add. But isn’t that usually the case with deep trauma? I honestly don’t know, which is why I’m asking. I only have my own lived experience. And therapy. Lots of therapy. Disclaimer: […]
I’m 2.
Today is my 2-year HRT Anniversary. I took my first dose of bicalutamide the night of November 4, 2020 and it was on of the best decisions I’ve ever made for my health. And to be honest, it was one of the most selfish decisions I’ve ever made. I truly didn’t understand what it was […]
I’m writing a novel.
And I have no idea what I’m doing. Kinnikinnick. Like Mississippi, but cooler and more Colorado. It’s a word from memory and it goes as far back as I can remember. 3. 3-years old. Ramona Drive. I had to look it up. I remembered the house but I didn’t remember the address. Our house had […]
T Jay to T.
A journey of self. Discovered. What’s in a name? But not just any name. What’s in a person’s name? My name is T. One letter. If you are picky, there’s a period after the T on my birth certificate – which is now accurate because my state is awesome. I never did claim the period. […]
Rest.
Reposted from Instagram with a note: My rest will involve more regular blog posting. I’ve been on a path of discovery, looking for things I truly love to do. Writing is one of them. I give myself permission to be. Dysphoria. It was all-consuming. From the moment I knew I was transgender, it was constant. […]
#ProtectTransKids
I posted this on Instagram today. It’s important enough to share a copy here also. Find me there at @hernameistjay I’ve only just begun. But I feel so completely me..I smile easily, laugh often, and feel every tear. I greet each day as an opportunity to be a better human, a better parent, a better […]
I am. I can let go.
I am transgender. That will always be a core part of who I am. Transition is the part of me that some day, I will be able to let go. There will be a day, I hope, that I can say, “I am me. I am no longer in transition. I am just me.” Of […]
Disappointed. Not Surprised.
If you’re new here, “Welcome!” TL:DR 2020 I started therapy in September. I came out as transgender in October. I separated from my wife and started HRT in November. 2021 I was divorced as of February 1. I socially transitioned on February 6. My gender was corrected by April. And I’ve been authentically me now […]
Visibly Invisible.
Hi. I’m T, and I’m visibly invisible. I am an openly gay, transgender woman living in a rural mountain town. Many consider this town overly conservative and religious – I’ve called it home since I was 5. That makes me about as visible as one can get. I am an openly gay, transgender woman living […]