I am transgender
I am not choosing my gender.
I am choosing to show the world, on the outside, who I have always been on the inside.
Whoosh!
It’s what my life feels like right now. I’ve had every intention of writing regularly. Posting updates. Getting into vlogging. The whole all of it. Here we are nearing the end of July. I barely know which way is up currently. When I find out, I’ll write more. Thanks for sticking around this long. I […]
Still here.
It hit me today. I’m going to miss a significant portion of my kids lives because I’m transgender.
Let’s hit reset.
I started this blog amid massive life changes and deep emotional trauma. It was exactly the outlet I needed as I began to process all of it. ALL. OF. IT.
…
It’s time to hit reset.
A walk in the woods.
Sundays are not usually my day with my kids. The schedule is to have them back with their mom by mid-morning. I wanted to go to a concert this afternoon and the afterparty this evening.
It’s not my fault.
Before coming out I was really good at one thing in particular. Holding on to the pain and misery of it “being all my fault.” All of the fucking time.
It still hurts.
It.Still.Fucking.Hurts. I wasn’t enough. I’m not worth knowing. I did irreparable damage over 15 years. She’s embarrassed of me. She’s ashamed to have been married to me. She doesn’t want people to know that I’m the ex. “She’s not my husband.” Some of these I still feel so strongly at times. Others zip in and […]
FaceApp Validation.
The app finally gendered me correctly. 😂 That is all.
Guilt and estrogen.
I haven’t written in a while. There’s a reason. Guilt. I’ve had a post about transition and divorce running circles in my head for some time. You’ll have to wait longer for that one. Thoughts are still a mess on exactly what and how I want to talk about it.
I’m doing okay.
That doesn’t mean it’s been easy. I’m only two months post divorce (officially). We were pretty well separated when I moved out November 1. Moving on with your own life when someone else was so closely a part of that life for so long – it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been faced with. It’s […]
