My youngest child isn’t so little anymore, but they still want to be the first person to Mars. As the parent, I tell them I want them to be the first person to make it back from Mars.

That’s a huge dream.

I have a child who wants to be a YouTuber and streamer. They want to play video games, chat with the people watching, and get paid for it. I heard on a podcast that there are now more successful YouTubers – those earning a living from YouTube – than there are people who work in the coal industry here in the US.


We don’t need more police officers. I hope kids still want to be teachers and mechanics, carpenters and plumbers, doctors and designers, and all the other things people can be that make the world better.
As global warming continues, we’ll need more firefighters.

Me? What I would tell people was a cover, a distraction. I didn’t want people to know my heart’s desire, even from a young age. I was so good at telling people what I wanted to be that they believed me. I think, even to the time of writing this – on Friday, June 7, 2024, at the age of 43 – no one knows what I truly wanted to be when I grew up.

T with her eyes closed.

Architect. I wanted to be an architect.

It was never his primary job, at least not when I was little, but my uncle was an architect. I know he designed at least two of the houses he and my cousins lived in over the years, and they were cool houses! To this day, I think designing houses that get built and lived in is so cool.

As a kid, I had a dream, a vision of the house I would design and have built. I was constantly looking for the perfect hill to have my house built on – all part of the plan. I even sketched the outside over and over in my sketchbooks. The floor plan would vary – but the outside was always the same.

The two-car garage would technically be underground. I would have built the house on a small hill. Stairs from the garage would lead you to the ground level of a 3-story home. Funny, as a kid, I never considered where the laundry room would have been. As a single mom, I would most certainly think about its location today – were I to revisit the house dream and redo the floor plan. But I digress. 

The ground floor would feature a large family room with couches and TV, a pool table, foosball, and video games. Three bedrooms and two bathrooms are on this level. I envisioned this as the kids’ zone, and after they grew up, it would become the friends and family zone. My family is not as close with each other as some are, so I crave having a chosen family – I’m still looking for that, too. I always imagined the first level filled with stories, laughter, and tears of shared lives.

Heading up the stairs to the second level, you would have found yourself in the heart of the home. The large kitchen would have anchored floor two. A kitchen that, today, I would feel under-qualified to be in. I cook simple things, grateful that my kids like what I make. Fancy kitchens intimidate me, and this one would have certainly done that. 

Adjacent to the kitchen would have been a dining room large enough for all of the gatherings. Food, friends, and family gathered for all occasions – more laughter, tears, and lives shared. Should there be too many friends and family – yes, please – the sitting room would catch the overflow of beautiful humans. Were that not enough, find yourself outside on the patio, the roof of the floor below, gazing at the sunset to the west. You’d be looking at trees and probably a mountain, too. Learning my human design has validated and reinforced my need to be in or near mountains. Always.

Retreat. Sanctuary. Love. A space for me upstairs. As I think back, dreaming about this house for years – kids, family, friends – it never included a spouse. Maybe my dream was a picture of where I would be today – a divorced single mom, or perhaps I wasn’t ready for a spouse back then. Today, that space would include my partner. The one I haven’t met yet.

The top floor is where the master bedroom would have been, large enough to feel spacious but not overwhelming. The master bath and dressing room would be there, too. In the original dream, this floor would have had a cozy sitting room for reading and napping. Today, it would be a home office and art studio. Maybe there’s potential for a sitting room too. Working for myself has taught me the importance of having a dedicated creative and workspace. This goodness, this sanctuary would have been surrounded by a full wrap-around deck to chase the sun and views all day, every day. 

This dream would have been my home where I would live, grow, learn, and find myself. 

I wanted to be an architect. 

Remember. That’s a cover. A misdirection. A distraction from the truth. 

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