My name is T.
Really. Just the letter. Jay is my middle name. Oddly enough, when I first started coming out to family and friends, the first question most people asked was, “What are you changing your name to?”
Honestly, I love my name! I am extremely grateful that it’s incredibly gender neutral. My therapist reinforced that by telling me, “It’s a really cute woman’s name.” Talk about a confidence booster.
If you hadn’t picked up on it yet, yes, I am transgender. Male to female specifically. This website is a place to document my search for authenticity, part of which is medical transition. You could have asked me if being trans was “real” even 6 months ago and I would have strongly denied it.
It’s part of the attitude that kept me shrouded in a fog of depression, anxiety, and stress for most of my life. I couldn’t reconcile that I was as God made me – female to my core but oh-so-physically male. It was through the course of last year, given plenty of time to contemplate, and with the help of a good therapist, that I was able to connect my creation to my existence and realize
I’m not broken. I’m not a mistake. God has put tools in my path to help me find peace with myself and being His creation. Not a broken mistake. Holding onto a new truth, I started medical transition in November of 2020. If you’d like to follow my story, stick around.
Catch up with me.
I am more than my journey through transition.
I’ve lived much of my life in a dense fog of depression, anxiety, and stress. I will be the first to admit that I was most often negative, grumpy, and short; generally, not a whole lot of fun to hang around. I was also good at hiding it from anyone but my family. They always knew something was out of sync.
When I finally came out and started to make steps toward living an authentic life, the fog began to lift and life took on a new color. It’s more vibrant, full of emotion, and pretty darn exciting. I can’t remember the last time I was excited for the next day, next month, next year.
My creative spark has also been reignited. I find myself designing more, taking better photos (the new Canon M50 helps a bunch though), making more stuff with my Cricut (Etsy shop coming soon) and able to remember more of those late-night, brain-flash ideas.
I love to share the things I make, so you’ll find that here too. I am more than my transition. I am a parent, a creative, a photographer, a lover of music and sounds on vinyl, a lover of cars, mountains, pine needles and sunshine. I am also transgender. I am all of these things and I choose them to help define my life. I do not choose to let them define my life.
This is a journey, and I don’t think anyone said it better than Bilbo Baggins in the third age:
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo,
going out your door.
You step onto the road,
and if you don’t
keep your feet,
there’s no knowing
where you might
be swept off to.”